I missed my chance to spy on the Conservatives' priorities
Column: Gimme some grammar appeared in Fort McMurray Today, Nov. 24, 2006
By MICHAEL HALL
Today staff
I blew it.
I was relaxing at home Monday, on a day off, when the phone rang at half-past noon.
"This is the Conservative Party of Canada. Is it this Michael Hall?"
I answered "yes," by reflex. I regretted it immediately.
The woman went on to ask me if I wanted to participate in a survey, but my mind was racing. I picked the first option that my grey matter offered up: "Uh, er, thanks, but I don't want to participate. Goodbye."
I hung up.
With that stupid answer, I passed on the chance to spy, to be your eyes and ears into what the Tories are wondering about. Are they checking up on how well Brian Jean is doing? Are they checking up on how well Stephen Harper is doing?
Are they judging their chances if the government falls on a vote in the House of Commons and they call an election? The new Liberal leader will be in place in a couple of weeks, and he'll be raring to go.
I blew all of that. Dang.
Then I got to wondering. How did the Tory pollsters know that Michael Hall answered that phone? My name is not in the telephone listings.
I figured it out. The bastards purchased my name from some other company's list! It may be that gift subscription I bought my wife for Chatelaine, or my own subscription to Macworld magazine.
Could it be the contest entry at the trade show, or even -- gulp -- my ticket in the Oil Barons Dream Home lottery?
Who knows which list the Tory polling firm was using. There are a million of them.
The fact that the party is doing telemarketing in this way makes me very unhappy.
While there's a wave moving slowly through the federal government right now to crack down on this evil practice, to make a do-not-call list a reality, there's no way politicians will ever allow it to apply to themselves.
All parties have a stake in permitting everything from calls to homes to spam in our e-mail boxes and sign-pollution along highways to continue.
I'm thankful for the end of the Tory leadership race either this weekend or next. Almost all the candidates (except Gary McPherson, -- thanks, Gary) have been spamming my work in-box for the last couple of months.
I tried to politely ask one of the campaigns to stop sending me something, but was ignored. Another one didn't offer a way to remove myself.
Stop sending me e-mail I never asked for!
I mean, the Viagra, penis enlargement and stock picks e-mails are bad enough. I have to put up with Ted Morton's policy issues, too? Who the heck has a different view on something every day?
I'm still kicking myself for not playing along with the Tory pollster, however. I could have fed the woman nonsense answers and really screwed up the results.
It would have been delicious.
I hope politicians don't take this the wrong way, but their partisan machines, built to do nothing but win elections, are worthless to the average citizen.
Keep your back rooms in the closet. Don't inflict them on regular people.
* * *
On the subject of politicians, it was interesting to see the coverage of Stephen Harper's visit to Vietnam.
It seems the Prime Minister and his aides hate the press so much, they ended up shooting themselves in the foot. The stories out of the trip weren't about what the PM did or didn't do, but about how Canadian reporters got better and more timely information from Chinese officials than their Canadian counterparts.
And how Harper ticked them off.
Newspapers rank down there with collection agencies in the eyes of the public. Harper may feel that giving us the cold shoulder will only enhance his image among voters.
But if it interferes with his message -- that he's supposedly a strong advocate for Canadians abroad and human rights in general (I write supposedly because I don't know if this is true or not -- seriously), then he's blowing it.
Interestingly, Alberta government officials, for all of the criticism that is aimed at the province and Premier Ralph Klein, almost always return calls from the media asking for information, and do so in a patient, timely, and understanding way.
It may be the result of a number of many newspaper and wire service colleagues being hired by the Alberta government. In return for being called flacks by us still writing news, they get big pay increases.
But they know we get ticked off when no one returns our calls. Left to our own devices, we do things like phone opposition politicians.
This lesson, it seems, has not been learned by the prime minister's office.
I'm thankful for the end of the Tory leadership race ... almost all the candidates have been spamming my work in-box.
© Copyright 2006, Fort McMurray Today.
By MICHAEL HALL
Today staff
I blew it.
I was relaxing at home Monday, on a day off, when the phone rang at half-past noon.
"This is the Conservative Party of Canada. Is it this Michael Hall?"
I answered "yes," by reflex. I regretted it immediately.
The woman went on to ask me if I wanted to participate in a survey, but my mind was racing. I picked the first option that my grey matter offered up: "Uh, er, thanks, but I don't want to participate. Goodbye."
I hung up.
With that stupid answer, I passed on the chance to spy, to be your eyes and ears into what the Tories are wondering about. Are they checking up on how well Brian Jean is doing? Are they checking up on how well Stephen Harper is doing?
Are they judging their chances if the government falls on a vote in the House of Commons and they call an election? The new Liberal leader will be in place in a couple of weeks, and he'll be raring to go.
I blew all of that. Dang.
Then I got to wondering. How did the Tory pollsters know that Michael Hall answered that phone? My name is not in the telephone listings.
I figured it out. The bastards purchased my name from some other company's list! It may be that gift subscription I bought my wife for Chatelaine, or my own subscription to Macworld magazine.
Could it be the contest entry at the trade show, or even -- gulp -- my ticket in the Oil Barons Dream Home lottery?
Who knows which list the Tory polling firm was using. There are a million of them.
The fact that the party is doing telemarketing in this way makes me very unhappy.
While there's a wave moving slowly through the federal government right now to crack down on this evil practice, to make a do-not-call list a reality, there's no way politicians will ever allow it to apply to themselves.
All parties have a stake in permitting everything from calls to homes to spam in our e-mail boxes and sign-pollution along highways to continue.
I'm thankful for the end of the Tory leadership race either this weekend or next. Almost all the candidates (except Gary McPherson, -- thanks, Gary) have been spamming my work in-box for the last couple of months.
I tried to politely ask one of the campaigns to stop sending me something, but was ignored. Another one didn't offer a way to remove myself.
Stop sending me e-mail I never asked for!
I mean, the Viagra, penis enlargement and stock picks e-mails are bad enough. I have to put up with Ted Morton's policy issues, too? Who the heck has a different view on something every day?
I'm still kicking myself for not playing along with the Tory pollster, however. I could have fed the woman nonsense answers and really screwed up the results.
It would have been delicious.
I hope politicians don't take this the wrong way, but their partisan machines, built to do nothing but win elections, are worthless to the average citizen.
Keep your back rooms in the closet. Don't inflict them on regular people.
* * *
On the subject of politicians, it was interesting to see the coverage of Stephen Harper's visit to Vietnam.
It seems the Prime Minister and his aides hate the press so much, they ended up shooting themselves in the foot. The stories out of the trip weren't about what the PM did or didn't do, but about how Canadian reporters got better and more timely information from Chinese officials than their Canadian counterparts.
And how Harper ticked them off.
Newspapers rank down there with collection agencies in the eyes of the public. Harper may feel that giving us the cold shoulder will only enhance his image among voters.
But if it interferes with his message -- that he's supposedly a strong advocate for Canadians abroad and human rights in general (I write supposedly because I don't know if this is true or not -- seriously), then he's blowing it.
Interestingly, Alberta government officials, for all of the criticism that is aimed at the province and Premier Ralph Klein, almost always return calls from the media asking for information, and do so in a patient, timely, and understanding way.
It may be the result of a number of many newspaper and wire service colleagues being hired by the Alberta government. In return for being called flacks by us still writing news, they get big pay increases.
But they know we get ticked off when no one returns our calls. Left to our own devices, we do things like phone opposition politicians.
This lesson, it seems, has not been learned by the prime minister's office.
I'm thankful for the end of the Tory leadership race ... almost all the candidates have been spamming my work in-box.
© Copyright 2006, Fort McMurray Today.
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